Please Never Make Another Film

I'm sure as you'll realise in good time that the people who are involved will probably not be getting together any time soon to pour out another cinematic showpiece.

I have recently been making my way through some of the great 'rock' films of all time from the brilliant 'Don't Look Back', 'Last Waltz', 'Woodstock'
to the not as great 'Gimme Shelter' and 'Festival Express' and further on to the at times poor, such as The Rolling Stones' Rock 'n' Roll Circus. Therefore it is natural that I would see some films made (and I use the word lightly) by The Beatles and such is the case. Having seen a Hard Day's Night a few
years back I was mildly optimistic that there would be some little interesting parts in each film.

So firstly I watched Yellow Submarine. Well it was...reasonable. Most of the songs being re-released non-originals. The storyline was your general we don't need a proper storyline-fodder. The only interesting songs being the originals "Hey, Bulldog" and "All Together Now" which are under-rated, especially Hey Bulldog.

Magical Mystery tour however was a travesty against film-making utterly boring from start to finish. I didn't know that this is actually the general opinion until checking out the usual sources. For me, the songs are overlistened. Apparently most of the film was directed by McCartney and is completely lacking in ideas. Two moments I hoped would resurrect some interest were the sections directed by Harrison (Blue Jay Way) and Lennon (I Am The Walrus). However I forgot that Blue Jay Way is one of the worse Beatles songs of all time and that watching Harrison play a keyboard drawn on the floor in chalk while the camera very slowly zooms in on him and then out followed by general wanderings of foot bathed in pastel psychedelic colours without the balls to be vivid is likely to be crap. It was.

Why is it also that everytime that Lennon did something crap in The Bealtes there seems to appear from nowhere a quote getting him off the hook like his supposed dislike for the crappy lyric of Let It Be? "Are we supposed to laugh during the solo?". Wow, here comes another! "Magical Mystery Tour was one of the most expensive home movies". Phew! Saved again! Let's blame it all on McCartney! Again! Well, no matter how much avoiding he did in the film he still stood in front of the camera in a wizard's hat telling McCartney's wizard about cups of tea. How funny! How English! Ho ho!
The I Am The Walrus section is just as bad as the rest of the film if not worse. I am sure jaunty camera angles of peoples chins and left ear were already thought to be universally shit and therefore avoided unless you were trying to catch the whole 'we have no idea how to make films ethos'. Lennon is fallible! Hold the presses! Not to mention all the crap songs he recorded post-Beatles. This film sucked! It took me 4 viewings ranging from 20 minutes to 45 to get through it. Why did individuals talented enough to come up with a song as great as Happiness Is A Warm Gun find it so difficult to turn this to film? Coming out instead with a sub-Carry-On spectacular along with humourous dwarfs and stripteases in front of gurning men. Ahhhh!

This picture's crap as well!